


Musings in Sleep

by Kanchelsis



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Alphabet, M/M, Season/Series 04
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-02
Updated: 2015-12-02
Packaged: 2018-05-04 14:06:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5336831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kanchelsis/pseuds/Kanchelsis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Xander wanders through the alphabet as he considers his fledgeling relationship with Spike.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Musings in Sleep

**Author's Note:**

> Trawling through an old hard drive, I came across some of my (very) old BTVS fanfic from when I was at uni, so am posting for posterity and amusement. It's interesting to see where my style has changed - and where it hasn't - over the last decade or so :)
> 
> Date of completion: August 2002

Alexander LaVelle Harris gazed in awestruck fascination, yet again, at the figure in repose beside him. Bathed in lambent moonlight from the narrow basement window, he wondered why Fate had conspired to give him such a vision.

Contrary to popular – and cultivated – belief, his companion was not nearly as terrible as his maligned reputation suggested. Don’t get him wrong, he was undeniably evil. Evil, though, is in the eye of the beholder and Xander was well aware that things were rarely as black and white as some made it out to be. Friends they might be but the bonds of trust between the two were still tentative and fragile, as befitted the rather freaky nature of the situation. Gullible he may be at times but he wasn’t going to swoon at every platitude and flowery phrase from this, albeit erstwhile, killer.

He smiled as an unconscious flex twisted various muscles, plying roiling shadows across the broad ivory expanse before him. “I don’t deserve this,” he whispered breathily, “I don’t deserve you by any stretch of the imagination.”

Just staring at him like this was an activity he enjoyed indulging in during the oh so short time they had been together. Knowing and getting to know each other in the manner they had, made each step forward more secure. Looking forward to a day when they would truly be able to walk together, safe with one another in every way. Maybe that was just wishful thinking; maybe it just wasn’t possible given the differences in their natures. Naturally there would be problems – no person could reasonably expect any relationship to be plain sailing.

Oh well, those were thoughts for another day, another time, another place – their own, he hoped. Perhaps his new job would let them do that.

Quietly he shifted around, careful not to disturb the beauty and the beast. Reclining into the somewhat lumpy pillow, he sighed softly, once more silently considering the circumstances that had, almost literally, pushed the two of them together.

Skirting around the incident had only served to make their advances that much more hesitant. Time had slipped on apace and it was four months from the ensorcelled mix-up – he would never look at a fork in quite the same way again – to their first kiss. Under the circumstances he could forgive his friends their reactions.

Vowing, once again, to forget their unpleasant, if understandable, outbursts to his announcement, he decided to try once more to seek the embrace of slumber. Work, menial but necessary, would rob him of his precious staring time in but a few short hours. 

Xander searched for any signs of movement from his lover.

Yes…?

“Zzzzzzzzz.”


End file.
